Why do people insist on loving each other so conditionally? What happened to the idea of giving joyfully, without expectation? Everything seems to be a big competition in life~ whether it be relationally, occupationally, or in regards to friendship, parenting, even happiness!
Of course I say this as if I have never been guilty of placing a good bit of motivation on my loving actions. Naturally there have been instances when I have done something for someone with the clear intention of having the favor returned. We all have high expecations of each other, maybe they are unreachable at some points- Maybe the are unattainable more often then not. That doesn’t mean we don’t try though, just because we want each other to be happy.
I am certain that the one major reason I have been fortunate enough to have friendships that have lasted 26+ years is because of a very important charactoristic that my friends and I share. We practice unconditional loyalty. We have had our ups and downs~ ins and outs~ good times and bad~ but the bottom line is, no matter what~ we try very very hard to be unconditional with each other.
Looking back I can see those friendships as being one-sided; during times when one of us faced some type of hardship. And maybe they have not always been the healthiest of relationships. Even lately I have relationships that are difficult for me to deal with. People I love make decisions that are difficult to accept. Its hard NOT to judge them, sometimes I even wish to strangle some sense into them. 😉 And, of course not saying “I told you so!” when the time comes that maybe I was right all along… But I would never trade that one charactoristic that holds us together, and I hope I will be able to pass that on to my kids as well.
Life is hard. I am blessed to never have to feel alone because I have friends, family, and a community that lifts me up whenever I need it. They know me well enough to know when I need a hug, a push, or a big ole slap up side the head. Being surrounded by a supportive, diverse, and trustworthy group makes it super easy to find success in anything that is worth desiring.
What did I have to do to obtain such a group? Simply be unconditionally loyal. Basically, it means I don’t go away. My friends know that they are going to have me around regardless of what they do or don’t do with their lives. I may not always agree, but I’m always here. And the same goes with them… I have friends that think I have lost my mind when it comes to decisions I’ve made recently. I have friends that I know better then to try to rationalize or debate certain beliefs with. They are the same friends that are there for me when I show up a mess on their front step, or accidently flake on for a breakfast date, or scream and yell at when I’ve had enough.
Life is short. Whenever I hear others being judgemental or making assumptions based on small-minded stereo-types it’s hard for me to *not* feel sorry for them. Its sad to live a lonely existance! The people that I have passed judgement on in the past are the very people I have been forced to depend on the most~ luckily for me, because they have also been the biggest assets!
I hope I never lose sight of this important lesson~ never judge a person unless you have personally been thru the exact circumstance you are in judgement of. And love everyone with unconditional loyalty… ❤